The story start wif a guy, name Paul and a girl named Ella..

Both of were still students but had already started to 'fall in love'.. in another words, go steady.. In one of the days during their June holidays which they have been waiting for, they met each other at a basketball court.. Coincidentally, they started playing a match wif each other.. they had fun..

As Ella knew one of the frens of Paul, she asked for Paul's number.. At tat time, Paul didn't want to fall in love again, after getting so much hurt from the previous one.. Sadly, tat fren of Paul didn't give her the number..

As days went by, the holidays ended.. They met each other at another basketball near Ella's skool.. Day went by and Ella borrowed Paul's hp and missed call her own hp to get his number..

Tat very nite, she smsed Paul.. They chatted and had fun.. Till one day, Ella expressed her love for Paul.. Paul loved her much too.. after thinking 4 a long time, Paul thinks tat he and Ella would last, thus, asked her if she would be his partner..Obviously, she agreed..

They went steady for one and a half short mths.. Ella ended the relationship.. with her parents not allowing her to go steady as a reason.. who on earth would accept tat lame reason? but Paul, like many other love victims, had no choice but to let go..

Years past and another fell in love wif Paul.. She was Mary.. Paul and Ella didn't contact for a very long time.. Paul still loved Ella very much.. but nvr had a chance to tell her..

One day, along a street, Paul was wif Mary.. Paul saw a familiar figure across the road.. guess who was tat? it was Ella.. Paul ran acrossed the road, without noticing a truck coming.. BANG!! everyone near him crowded around tat area.. Mary screamed as she rushed to Paul.. Ella joined in the crowd.. She remembered the face, one who loved her so much in the past.. Next to him, was Mary.. He wasn't dead.. 'dun give up.. say my name, 100 times, 1000 time, a million times.. u're gonna say it till u can finish a million b4 u can stop!!' Mary said to Paul.. with tears in her eyes.. Everyone thought Mary was Paul's gerl.. Standing at one side, alone, was a gerl crying.. tat's was Ella who regretted breaking up wif Paul, after recalling how nice Paul treated her in the past..

Paul was sent to the Hospital..Mary and Ella were them.. Praying hard.. An operation was carried out.. Paul didn't survive.. The Doctor came out, shaking his head.. Sighed.. He too, thought tat Mary was Paul's gerlfren, thus approached her for an apology for not being able to revive Paul.. He said to Mary: "Miss Ella.. your boyfren didn't survive.. he gave himself up after calling your name 157 times.. im sorry.."

The Doctor has actually mistook Mary for Ella.. Paul was calling out for Ella.. Ella cried in a corner.. She knew why he had stopped at 157.. tat was the day she broke wif him..(15/7) she, who ended the relationship which Paul treasured so much, has in turn, ended Paul's life..

2nd time i retyping using notepad ar. stupid blog. i bite u. -_-"

today, mms gone. =D happy sia. memorise the command till 4am. seldom see me so hardworking. just one small paper, take away my precious sleeping time. sobs. but monkey accompany me till 3 plus then he knock out le. haha.

wed:
morning - sleeping.

afternoon - in club. studying. got danny, gabrielle, shawn and dar half way lost in club. haha. went mac eat with gab. =D having lotsa fun in club. hairs. less than 2cm is call fur. less than 5cm is hair. more than 5cm? i dont know. haha.

nite - went to teck ghee cc with monkey. tgcc. my past ballet lessons and study area. =D so glad i'm back. got gym le. got com room le. so many things. i miss there. back to monkey. haha. went to meet ryan they all. all playing bball. so smelly. lols! actually i go there give hamsters to a ger. haha. then one china ger also want. but i not free to give her.. lols. then pei the ger with hamsters, sitting at the void deck. monkey keep on disturbing me. -_-" the ger's bf go buy food for his mother. haha. jonathon pei him. jonathon very cute one but abit looked like jialiang. haha. side view lar~ then took bus home. haha. very funny. so near but monkey insisted on taking bus. -_-" ok loh. take loh. also not i pay. muahahah!! =X then home sweet home.. =D

after midnite - study very hard till 4am lo. actually still can study lar. but dont want.. ZzZ scare i really become panda. haha!

today:
morning - same thing, sleeping! nemasu..

afternoon - went fc2. muahaha! pork lar. call me and ask for help.. i also dont know much ar. i memorize de. then dont know saw banny first or jeff. haha. jeff pro ar. he go study whole book. then teach us diagrams. ZzZ heng i learn one new thing on the spot then apply to my exam. thanks. i did my exam. i memorize all. section B surely full marks le. section A die die also got 16/20 ar. then section C, die ar. i forgetten the commands. -_-" mostly score 30/40 or less than lo. but this exam 35% nia. but still hope i get A or dist ba. *hope..... after exam bought apple pie for gab and ban. hees. using my ex-link. smart ar. =D

nite - late afternoon till 8pm.. singing ktv at chinatown. i think is cha ren zhi jia ba, aka partyworld. me not sure. using shawn's coupon. hees. less than 10 bucks nia. i still owe danny money! -_-" 10 bucks lo. haha. then bought hokkien mee home to eat. =D 1st meal of the day. mauhahah! but b4 that ate apple pie le mar. =) then 9pm - 10pm is dnd time. watching tv lar. haha. 10 plus monkey come my hse find me. give him away 3 hamsters. =D mux really thanx to him sia. he helped me give away 8 hamsters le. if not now my hse still very noisy with them. haha. =)

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aiyah, really hope i get 4As and some dist ar. never get b4. scally i can get top 10%. ai seh. i'm hoping...

sunday sunday.. sentosa sentosa sentosa sentosa..

飞飞飞飞飞飞

-_- rubbish leh. type so many things. one glance, everything gone. stupid blogger. i'm cursing u now. -_-" see! have to retype. knn.

1 down. 3 more to go. -_-" MMS, MECH and IA. yesh. 3 more only. yesh yesh. jia you ar Celia. =)

After studying for so long, a few days ba. haha. Today maths, quite ok. I answered all! but still some uncertain qns. Sitting at the exam hall for 2 hours 10 min plus.. like that.. *bOoOoOm.. Maths exam finish le! YippeE! so happy! finally my fav module is off my back. -.- pending for results le. haha.

Sunday I going Sentosa! Don't care. Don't study. Go there play! =) With Monkey and ah beng they all. -_- sure laugh till peng le. They funny batch of ppl to mix around with. Now till 17th Dec still got Monkey pei me at nite.. but after that he'll be in Army lo. Sad ar. haha. but nia mind. I got so many hamsters pei me. Muahahaha!!

Who wants hamsterS? Take from me! -_-" This morning 2 souls just left my hse ar. Don't know what happened. They die le. Hahaa. One cage free! but also sad lar. I dont know who are they. haha.. -.-!!

oh ya. remember to watch "The Champion" on Chn 8. Weekdays 9pm. nice nice nice show. damn nice loh. drool ar. *Ou Xuan*!! Muarks!! but so far, i only remember her acting in 3 shows. -_-! Holland Village - JING JING. Spicy Silblings - SPICYGER. The Champion - Tardy Queen, JINGWEN.

all so affilated to me. muahaha. Jing Jing -> Miao Jing! =X SpicyGer -> My sister always call me that. cox i very princess at home one. haha. now Tardy Queen -> i always late also. maybe my pri and sec sch frds will know.. =X

OU XUAN.. Wo hai ai ni ar.. ("_) ke shi wo bu shi les! =)

haha.. backie.. i realized something.. i never blog for one week le!.. *yawns.. haha

last sat..
hmms.. SAC got open leh.. cox CSCC got camp mar.. =) good sia.. then went club study!! but before that i was at home.. watching scv.. ai seh.. nice sia.. movie after movie.. argh!!.. i luv SCV!! =X i think i was doing my report or else is studying.. which subject i dont know lar.. definately not mms or ia.. haha.. then i forgotten le.. -_-"

last sun..
i think i at home doing report.. poor me.. where is fucking my team mates.. early evening.. went bishan park.. haha.. with gabrielle and dar dar.. kekes.. see SPCA adoption drive!! chey.. i tot alot of animals ar.. in the end only 5 tents ar.. then very little.. -_-" saw bunnies.. cats and dogs.. no hamsters.. sad ar.. i go open my stall there later.. haha.. =X no lar.. =) sayang alot of dogs.. haha.. frdly ar.. then i know one dog.. peaches.. she very funny.. only she got her own toy.. ppl cannot take one leh.. only the uncle.. her owner i think.. able to take.. then she super like banny loh.. go his leg and sit.. then banny go take her toy out of her mouth.. she give leh.. %!&~(^! but scally is purely luck.. =P saw junjie and hweelu.. lols!! then pei dar go eat his dinner.. hehehe.. then dar come my hse pei me.. then we also watch scv.. ai seh.. today is all ghost stories.. office got ghost.. then my left eyes saw ghost.. haha.. all ghost ghost.. later i cannot sleep ar..

mon..
haha.. never go mech.. yawns.. no ia mar.. then lazy to wake up so early.. went lab do report.. haii.. my whole life.. revolving with reports to do.. fuck sia.. chawshing also do wrongly.. _l_.. then 1oclock.. went ia! i was late.. -_-" test start le.. argh.. sir never wait for me! %@~(&*!^ but still i scored 99/100.. fuck lar. shldnt help jinhao and chawshing first.. or else i'm scoring 100! _l_ fuck sia. as u can conclude.. i'm a good frd. to help them, i lose 1 mark! %!&~(!^ regret sia. for reports. if i lost my dist, also becox of them. BLEH! proj sucks or proj mates suck..? *ponders away.. then went df. heh heh! my vehicle moved! got time i post all my pictures online lar. now can only describe.. haha.. YEAH YEAH!.. using my OWN prog to load my vehicle ok! but still.. copy from previous report lar.. but sir also blur blur. lols. study study..

tue..
heh.. i got attend mech leh.. haha!! then kkcheung like very sad.. say this is his last lect with us.. dont wanna see us.. haha.. act pathetic ar.. but overall he's a cute sir lar. haha.. went jurong pt to upgrade my hp.. sad ar.. me and dar dar quarrel over "cabin".. -_-" kinda stupid.. i told him i meeting him at the 5th cabin from front.. that means 5th door from front.. he go 5th cabin.. -_-"" but maybe it's my fault lar.. the way i phrase it.. but let's imagine it's him.. mr D.. he will go 5th door and meet me.. haha.. sad case.. dont mention le.. then on the way to jurong pt.. me and dar never talk.. AT ALL.. -_-" sad ar.. then i also dont wanna open my mouth.. he walk his.. i walk mine.. -_-"" then yy they all keep on saying me loh.. argh.. say quarrel ar.. go talk to him lar.. he lonely.. etc.. argh!! fine.. -_-" i shut myself up.. went kfc eat lunch.. then go back sch for mech tut.. calvin helped me collect back my hp.. hehe.. thanx.. then went do my proj.. final one and i go and pass to tng.. haii.. then fill in the form to remove MARCUS from my proj grp.. as well as report.. BLEH!! study study..

wed..
hehe.. went sch study nia.. nia go mms tut.. but heard that got lar.. hahaa.. eat kfc. with james, dar and gab.. hehe.. then go print out report.. THANX dotter! she lemme her acct to print.. cox mine over quota le.. then 1 pcs $0.03 leh.. eat money hor the sch.. -_-" somemore always cock up one.. _l_ fuck.. this also meant that dont do things last min lar.. haha.. then study study.. went home by 8.. hehe!! got THE CHAMPION to watch.. heng dar update me abt tv ar.. or else i will miss a GREAT show man.. JEANETTE OU XUAN is inside.. muahaha!! my fav!!.. woOooOo !! chio ar.. her hairstyle same as me.. muahahahh!! heng i never cut wrongly ar.. MUAHAHAHAH!!! next time mux comb like her le.. i also like FELICIA.. both chiobu.. wow.. their figure.. drool ar!! hahaha.. also got time i upload their pic up lar.. ahaha.. DROOLS !!!!!!

thurs..
hehe.. went for mms lab test.. guess i getting 90/100 nia.. aha.. never really use my brain to remember the command.. hees.. then went for japanese test.. argh.. got copy lar.. from kiat ghee.. haha.. then oral.. i only got 5 - 4 - 4 - 0.. 14 upon 20.. -_-" ok lar.. hope i pass ar.. tired.. go home watch tv !! OU XUAN !!!.. haha.. then dar went home at 10.. come my hse watch tv first.. hehe!!

fri..
study study.. study mech.. haha. went kk chueng office and fan him.. for 2 hours plus.. then went kfc eat.. munch munch.. went back club do till topic 7.. hehe.. 4 to 7.. heh heh.. good achievement ok.. every single qn ok.. hehe.. then go home.. watch tv!! THE CHAMPION!! =X dar ar.. lazy pig.. overnite at mY hse.. haha..

sat..
today is a special day.. YOUYANG's BIRTHDAY!! hahaha!! happy 18th!!.. the closest guy in class with me ba.. i shld say.. haha.. went ktv with youyang.. calvin.. kanghui.. chiwee.. waikeat.. and joey.. haha.. very happy.. haha.. all rubbish-ing with me!! .. then walk walk.. they went dhoby ghaut to pool.. i went home.. tired ar.. then i scare i stomachache also.. until now havent eat dinner.. scare to eat ar.. eat le shit.. shit le eat.. -_-

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study study.. i've not start my maths and mms yet.. die ar.. next wk exams le.. this 2.. -_- study ar study.. haha

hey THE CHAMPION.. remember to catch ar.. nice show.. nice story.. i luv ou xuan!! i luv felicia!! muahahaha.. my next coming idol maybe toro ar.. he looked alot like my long lost idol.. eric suen.. haha.. ar.. toro!! muahaha.. =X now my wallpaper from my hamster, xiao hei change to ou xuan le.. in her swimsuit somemore.. drool ar.. hahaha!!..


jux now took at cineleisure de.. hehee.. i tie hair leh.. muahaha!! =X i will go edit de.. jux now no time to write on the neoprints.. -_-"" then the machine also abit weird.. mauahhaa.. =X very happy.. =)

Cruel misunderstandings one after another disrupted the blissful footsteps to our family. Our original intend of having Mother enjoy some quiet and peaceful moments in her remaining years with us went terribly wrong as destiny's secret is finally revealed at a price, everything became too late.

Just two years after our marriage, hubby brought up the idea of asking Mother to move from the rural hometown and spend her remaining years with us. Hubby's father passed away while he was still very young. Mother endured much hardship and struggled all on her own to provide for him, see him through to a university degree. You could say that she suffered a great deal and did everything you could expect of a woman to bring hubby to where he is today.

I immediately agreed and started packing the spare room, which has a balcony facing the South to let her enjoy the sunshine and plant some greeneries. Hubby stood in the bright room, and suddenly just picked me up and started spinning round and round. As I begged him to put me down, he said: "Let's go fetch mother."

Hubby is tall and big sized and I love to rest on his chest and enjoy the feeling that he could pick me up at any moment put the tiny me into his pockets. And whenever we have an argument and both refuses to back down, he would pick me up and spin me over his head continuously until I surrender and beg for mercy. I became addicted to this kind of panic-joy feeling.

Mother brought along her countryside habits and lifestyle with her. For example; I am so used to buying flowers to decorate the living room, she could not stand it and would comment: "I do not know how you young people spend your money, why do you buy flowers for? You also can't eatthe flowers!"

I smiled and said: "Mum, with flowers in the house, our mood will also become better." Mother continues to grumble away, and hubby smiled:"Mum, this is a city-people's habit; slowly you will get use to it."

Mother stopped saying anything. But every time thereafter, whenever I came home with flowers, she would ask me how much it costs. I told her and she would shake her head and express displeasure. Sometimes, when I come home with lots of shopping bags, she would ask each and every item how much they cost, and I would tell her honestly and she would get even more upset about it.

Hubby playfully pinched my nose and said: "You little fool, just don't tell her the full price of everything would solve it." There begins the friction to our otherwise happy lifestyle.

Mother hates it most when hubby wakes up early to prepare the breakfast. In your view, how could the man of the house cook for the wife? At the breakfast table, mother facial expression is always like the darkclouds before a thunderstorm and I would pretend not to notice. She would use her chopsticks and make a lot of noise with it as her silent protest.

As I am a dance teacher in the Children's Palace and is exhausted from along day of dancing around, I do not wish to give up the luxury of that additional few minutes in the comfort of my bed and hence I turned a deaf ear to all the protest mother makes. From time to time, mother would help out with some housework, but soon her help created additional work for me. For example: she would keep all kinds of plastic bags accumulating them so that she sell them later on, and that resulted in our house being filled with all the trash bags; she would scrimp on dish washing detergent when helping to wash the dishes and so as not to hurt her feelings, I would quietly wash they again.

One day, late at night, mother saw me quietly washing the dishes, and "Bam" she slams her bedroom door and cried very loudly in her room. Hubby was placed in a difficult position, and after that, he did not speak to me for that entire night.

I pretended to be a spoilt child, tried acting cute, but he totally ignored me. I got mad and asked him: "What did I do wrong?"

Hubby stared at me and said: "Can't you just give in to her once? We couldn't possibly die eating from a bowl however unclean it is, right?"

After that incident, for a long period of time, mother did not speak to me and you can feel that there is a very awkward feeling hanging in the house. During that period of cold war, hubby was caught in dilemma as to who to please. In order to stop her son from having to prepare breakfast, mother took on the "all important" task of preparing breakfast without any prompting. At the breakfast table, mother would look at hubby happily eating his breakfast and cast that reprimanding stare at me for having failed to perform my duty as a wife. To avoid the embarrassing breakfast situation, I resorted to buying my own breakfaston my way to work.

That night, while in bed, hubby was a little upset and asked me: "LD, is it because you think that mum's cooking is not clean that's why you chose not to eat at home?" He then turned his back on me and left me alone in tears as feeling of unfairness overwhelmed me. After some time, hubby sighed: "LD, just for me, can you have breakfast at home?" I am left with no choice but to return to the breakfast table.

The next morning, I was having porridge prepared by mother and I felt a sudden churn in my stomach and everything inside seem to be rushing up my throat. I tried to suppress the urge to throw up but I couldn't. I threw down the bowl and rushed into the washroom and vomited everything out. And just as I was catching my breath, I saw mother crying and grumbling very loudly in her dialect, hubby was standing at the washroom doorway staring at me with fire burning in his eyes. I opened my mouth but no words came out of it, I really didn't mean it.

We had our very first big fight that day; mother took a look at us, then stood up and slowly made her way out of the house. Hubby gave me a final stare in the eye and followed mother down the stairs. For three days, hubby did not return home, not even a phone call. I was so furious, since mother arrived; I had been trying my best and putting up with her,what else do you want me to do? For no reason, I keep having the feeling to throw up and I simply have not appetite for food, coupled with all the events happening at home, I was at the low point in my life. Finally, a colleague said: "LD, you look terrible, you should go and see a doctor."

The doctor confirmed that I am pregnant. Now it became clear to me why I threw up that fateful morning, a sense of sadness floated through that otherwise happy news. Why didn't hubby, and mother who had been through this before, thought of the possibility of this being the reason that day? At the hospital entrance, I saw my hubby standing there. It had only been three days, but he looked haggard. I had wanted to turn and leave, but one look at him and my heart soften, I couldn't resist and called out to him.

He followed my voice and finally found me but he pretended that he doesn't know me; he has that disgusted look in his eyes that cut right through my heart. I told myself not to look at him anymore, and hail a cab. At that moment, I have such a strong urge inside me to shout to my hubby: "Darling, I am having your baby!", and to have him lift me up and spin me round in circles of joy. What I wanted didn't happen and as I sat in the cab, my tears started rolling down. Why? Why our love couldn't even withstand the test of one fight?

Back home, I lay on the bed thinking about my hubby, and the disgusted look in his eyes. I cried and wet the corner of the blanket.

That night, sound of the drawers opening woke me up. I switched on the lights and I saw hubby with tears rolling down his face. He was removing the money. I stared at him in silence; he ignored me, took the bank deposit book and some money and left the house. Maybe he really intends to leave me for good. What a rational man, so clear-cut in love and money matters. I gave a few dried laugh and tears starting streaming down again. The next day, I did not go to work. I wanted to clear this out and have a good talk with hubby. I reached his office and his secretary gave me a weird look and said: "Mr. Tan's mother had a traffic accident and is now in the hospital." I stood there in shock.

I rushed to the hospital and by the time I found hubby, mother had already passed away. Hubby did not look at me, his face was expressionless. I looked at mother's pale white and thin face and I couldn't control the tears in my eyes. My god, how could this happen? Throughout the funeral, hubby did say a single word to me, with only the occasional disgusted stare at me. I only managed to find out brief facts about the accident from other people.

That day, after mother left the house, she walked in dazed toward the bus stop, apparently intending to go back to her old house back in the countryside. As hubby ran after her, she tried to walk faster and as she tried to cross the street, a public bus came and hit her... I finally understood how much hubby must hate me, if I had not thrown up that morning, if we had not quarreled, if... In his heart, I am indirectly the killer of his mother.

Hubby moved into mother's room and came home every night with a strong liquor smell on him. And me, I am buried under the guilt and self pity and could hardly breathe. I wanted to explain to him, tell him that we are going to have our baby soon, but each time, I saw the dead look in his eyes, all the words I have at the brink of my mouth just fell backin. I had rather he hit me real hard or give me a big and thorough scolding though none of these events happening had been my fault at all.

Many days of suffocating silence went by and as the days went by, hubby came home later and later. The deadlock between us continues, we were living together like strangers who don't know each other. I am like the dead knot in his heart. One day, I passed by a western restaurant, looking into the glass window, I saw hubby and a girl I didn't know sitting facing each other and he very lightly brushed her hair for her, I understood what it meant. After recovering from that moment of shock,I entered the restaurant, stood in front of my hubby and stared hard at him, not a tear in my eyes. I have nothing to say to him, and there is no need to say anything. The girl looked at me, looks at hubby, stands up and wanted to go, hubby stretched out his hand and stopped her. He stared back at me, challenging me. I can only hear my slow heart beat, beating, one by one as if at the brink of death. I eventually backed down, if I had stood that any longer, I will collapse together with the baby inside me.

That night, he did not come home, he had chosen to use that as a way to indicate to me. Following mother's death so did our love for each other. He did not come home anymore after that. Sometimes, when I returned home from work, I can tell that the cupboard had been touched - he had returned to take some of his stuff.

I no longer wish to call him; the initial desire to explain everything to him had vanished. I lived alone; I go for my medical checkups alone, my heart breaks again and again every time I see a guy carefully helping his wife through the physical examination. My office colleagues hinted to me to consider aborting the baby, I told them No, I will not. Iinsisted on having to this baby, perhaps it is my way of repaying mother for causing her death. One day, I came home and I saw hubby sitting in the living room. The whole house was filled with cigarette smoke. On the coffee table, there was this piece of paper. I know what it is all about without even looking at it.

In the two months plus of living alone, I have gradually learned to find peace within myself. I looked at him, removed my hat and said: "You wait for a while, I will sign." He looked at me, mixed feelings in his eyes, just like mine. As I hang up my coat, I keep repeating to myself "You cannot cry, you cannot cry..." my eyes hurt terribly, but I refused to let tears come out from there. After I hung up my coat, hubby's eyes stared fixed at my bulging tummy. I smiled, walked over to the coffee table and pull the paper towards me. Without even looking at what it says, I signed my name on it and pushed the paper to him.

"LD, you are pregnant?" Since mother's accident, this is the first time he spoke to me. I could not control my tears any further and they fell like raindrops.

I said: "Yes, but its ok, you can leave now."

He did not go, in the dark, we sat, facing each other. Hubby slowly moved over me, his tears wet the blanket. In my heart, everything seems so far away, so far that even if I sprint, I could never reach them. I cannot remember how many times he repeated "sorry" to me. I had really originally thought that I would forgive him, but now I can't. In the western restaurant, in front of that girl, that cold look in his eyes, I will never forget, ever. We have drawn such deep scares in each other's heart. For me, its unintentional; for him, totally intentional.

I had been waiting for this moment of reconciliation, but I realized now, what had gone past is gone forever and could not repeated. Other than the thought of the baby inside me that would bring some warmth to my heart, I am totally cold towards him, I no longer eat anything he buys for me, I don't take any presents from him and I stopped talking to him. From the moment I signed on that piece of paper, marriage and love had vanished from my heart. Sometimes, hubby will try to come into the bedroom, but when he walks in, I will walk out to the living room. He had no choice but to sleep in mother's room.

At night, from his room, I can hear light sounds of groaning, I kept quiet. This used to be his trick; last time, whenever I ignore him, he would fake illness and I will surrender and find out what is wrong with him, he would then grab me and laugh. He has forgotten that last time; I cared for him and am concerned because there is love, but now, what is there between us?

Hubby's groaning came on and off continuing all the way till baby was born. Almost everyday, he would buy something for the baby, infant products, children products and books that kids like to read. Bags and bags of it stacked inside his room till it is full. I know he is trying to use this to reach out to me, but I am no longer moved by his actions.

He has no choice but to lock himself in his room and I can hear his typing away on his computer keyboard, maybe he is now addicted to websurfing, but none of that matters to me anymore. It was sometime towards the end of spring in the following year, one late night, I screamed because of a sudden stomach pain, hubby came rushing into the room, it is like he did not change and sleep, and had been waiting for this moment. He carried me and ran down the stairs, stopped a car, holding my hand very tightly and kept wiping the sweat off my brown, throughout the journey to the hospital. Once we reached the hospital, he carried me and hurried into the delivery suite. Lying on the back of his skinny but warmth body, a thought crossed my mind: In my lifetime, who else would love me as much as he did?

He held the delivery suite door opened and watch me go in, his warm eyes caused me to managed a smile at him despite my contraction pain. Coming out of the delivery room, hubby looked at our son, and me, his eyes tear with joy and he kept smiling. I reached out and touched his hand. Hubby looked at me, smiling and then he slowly collapsed onto the floor. I cried out for him in pain... He smiled, but without opening that tired eyes of his. I had thought that I would never shed any tear for him, but the truth is, I have never felt a deeper pain cutting through my body at that moment.

Doctor said that by the time hubby discovered he had liver cancer, it was already in terminal stage and it was a miracle that he managed to last this long. I asked the doctor when did he first discover he had cancer? Doctor said about 5 months ago and consoled me saying: "Prepare for his funeral." I disregarded the nurse's objection and rushed home, I went into his room and checked his computer, and a suffocating pain hits me. Hubby's cancer was discovered 5 months ago, his groaning was real, and I had thought that... the computer showed over 200 thousand words he wrote for our son: "Son, just for you, I have persisted, to be able to take a look at you before I fall, is my biggest wish now.... I know that in your life, you will have many happiness and maybe some setbacks, if only I can accompany you throughout that journey, how nice would it be. But daddy now no long has that chance. Daddy has written inside here all the possible difficulties and problems you may encounter during your lifetime, when you meet with these problems, you can refer to daddy'ssuggestion... Son, after writing these 200 thousand words, I feel as if I have accompanied you throughout your life journey. And to be honest, daddy is very happy. Do love your mother, she has suffered, she is the one who loves you most and also the one who loves me most..."

From play school to primary school, to secondary, university, to work and even in dealing with questions of love, everything big and small was written there.

Hubby has also written a letter for me: "My dear, to marry you is my biggest happiness, forgive me for the pain I have caused you, forgive me for not telling you my illness, because I want to see you be in a joyful mood waiting for the arrival of our baby... My dear, if you cried, it means that you have forgiven me and I would smile, thank you for loving me... These presents, I'm afraid I cannot give them to our son personally, could you help me to give some of them to him every year, the dates on what to give when are all written on the packaging..."

Going back to the hospital, hubby is still in coma. I brought our son over and place him beside him. I said: "Open your eyes and smile, I want our son to remember being in the warmth of your arms..." He struggled to open his eyes and managed a weak smile. Our son still in his arms was happily waving his tiny hands in the air. I press the button on the camera and the sound of the shutter rang thought the air as tears slowly rolled down my face... A fatal misunderstanding and the person who love me the most in this world is gone forever.

This story more sad ar.. dont cry wor.. =)

Jun and Jen was a young loving couple.
Jun was very charming and many girls couldn't help falling in love with him. Therefore, he became quite a flirt.
As for Jen, Although there were a number of guys chasing after her, Jen had only Jun in her heart.
She knew that Jun would leave her for another girl one day. But she continued to love him wholeheartedly. Jen loves rainy days. She loves playing in the rain, and whenever Jun wanted to join her, Jen would stop him.
Jun then asked Jen: Why won't u allow me to join you in playing in the rain?
Jen replied: Cos i don't want you to fall sick.
Jun then asked: If playing in the rain would make me fall sick, then why are u still doing it?
But each time Jen would just keep quiet and smiled at him. Although Jun was not allowed to join her, Jun felt happy. To him, as long as Jen is happy, he would be happy as well. However, nothing lasts forever, Jun soon fell for another girl, he even loved the girl more deeply then he had loved Jen.
One day, while Jun and Jen were having their dinner, Jun told Jen that this would be their last dinner together. Jen looked at Jun, she knew that this was going to happen but she chosed not to ask any further. Jun then ask for a break-up, and Jen accepted willingly.
That night, was supposed to be the last time Jun sends Jen home, but Jen kept very quiet, although deep down, she wanted to know the answer, but she chose not to ask. Just when Jen was about to step into the lift, Jun stopped her, he said, Jen, i'm sorry that i've let u down. But i'll never forget those days when i see u playing in the rain, those happy and unforgettable memories i had with you.
After listening to Jun, Jen couldn't help it but cried. Jun hugged her tightly. He said, Jen, there's one ques tion i wanted to ask you long ago. Why was it so that when u're playing in the rain, u just wouldn't let me accompany you? Jen was stunned, she didn't know what to answer. Then, she said.. cos..(Looking into Jun's eyes) i didn't want to let u noe tat i was crying.

ZzZ..
sad but lomantic story ar.. =(

女牡羊座：脾氣火爆的野蠻女！
戀愛Baga學分：急性子、壞脾氣、自我
與她戀愛的被扁指數：＊＊＊＊＊
真沒見過像牡羊女一樣這麼不害臊的女生，當她看到自己喜歡的人時，從此眼中就只有此人， 爸爸媽媽都不要了，連原本的男友也不要了，更不會管那位仁兄現在有沒有伴侶，她只管去昭告天下說自己有多煞他，並且已經在熱戀了！最嚴重的是牡羊女連自己姊妹淘的男人也不放過，說搶就搶！只要是她看上眼的，沒有放過的，頓時倫理道德通通不見了，再這樣Baga亂愛下去，會鬧出幾條人命也只有老天爺才知道了！更慘的還在後頭，當她真的打敗眾強敵，開始跟把來的另一半談戀愛時，居然擺出一個老媽訓小孩的德性（明明自己才是小孩），要別人改東改西，一下瞧不起這個，一下看不順眼那邊，好像馬上忘了原本有多好，竟渾然不知自己有多糟、多孩子氣、多令人受不了！

want see my animation pls go to http://www.bagaking.com/baga_lover/02g.php?flow_no=1

today ar.. angry man! fuck fuck fuck.. fuck the agv.. haha.. damn it..

i msged them last nite.. saying no excuses is expected from them.. i want to finish by today! friday!.. fuck.. cs as usual.. went work.. that fucking jinhao.. went sim lim i think.. after completing jux a 3d model and conclusion.. VERY PROUD ar? i did more than u loh. 2d. fabrication worksheet. the no of pages can win u le. think very easy to plan everything ar? leader so what? everything mux blame on me ar? leader for u to blame is it? wait. i dont curse u first. calvin told me u keep on talkin bad abt me in the mrt. FINE. lemme CURSE u in my BLOG now. report need to hand up by monday loh. think very easy to do is it. _l_ knn. so easy i give all the things for u to finish up and hand loh! dont know what to scold now ar. but very angry. %~(&!^~ 7am come sch do. proud ar. which siao kia uses mornign to do proj one? go and do survey lar. mostly all afternoon then do one loh. _l_ kaninabuchaocheebye. very very hot now ar. later i cook him and eat.. eee.. mai. later my stomach flu worse. lols. dont say le. later i all dont include their name. write my one can le. ^^!

stomach flu still on i think.. haiX.. now worse.. nose flU! -_-" paul got it.. cj got it.. eee.. mux be them passing to me.. haha.. no lar.. last 2 nites ago jux got.. dont know why also.. SUDDENLY.. eee..

today nothing much lar.. doing my prog in computer lab loh.. hehe.. ok lar.. then waited dar come sch then go eat lunch cum dinner.. now abit hungry le.. =X

jimmy birthday over le.. later going sch study.. hehe.. mechanics.. =D one more week to exam leh.. scary.. i dont know much abt mms.. die ar.. ia also.. -_-""

i going offline le lar.. 1.24am le.. ZZZZZzzzzzzzz

something important.. haha.. i luv u.. :P

"HAPPY 30th BIRTHDAY TO JIMMY LIM!"

hehe.. long time no online.. *yawns.. got lar.. online from school loh.. but home use nicer.. but sistar and blather always using.. poor me.. the youngest.. have to give in.. maybe becox last time used too much net.. now not so immuned liao.. haha..! =)

haha.. somehow.. realized something.. my blog page something wrong.. my handsome is not showing himself to the ppl who came into my blog.. haha.. =X JAY lar. haha. die lar.. mux go find new blogskin.. after exams lar.. left only 1wks.. havent study leh.. argh.. hate the world.. why only 24/7.. then left like 12/7.. half day sleeping.. where got enough time and day to study? -_-" haha.. i will change into another jay's blogskin.. alamak.. so handsome.. =X

another thing.. ITP is coming.. haha. abit excited lar. found abt 3 ppl same as me. muahaha!! good good.. suffer together.. heard that the company.. tsk tsk.. no good loh.. but who cares! i'm good to everyone.. i'm frdly.. muaahaha.. we shall see.. =P

LEE WAI WAI
ESTHER
*SHARMILA (not sure)
haha. 1 from FO. 2 from GYL I. :P

Name of the Company you are attached to:
PROMEDIA DIRECTORIES PTE LTD
Reporting Address:
BLK 41 JALAN PEMIMPIN
#03-01A KONG BENG INDUSTRIAL BLDG
SINGAPORE 577186
Person to report to :
MS EVE CHONG
Tel No :
62588255
Period of attachment :
08-NOV-2004 - 11-DEC-2004
Time of reporting :
8.30AM
Allowance payable by the company :
$420/M

haha.. pathetic 420 but getting lesser lar. i wont be able to be with them for 1st 1 wk. haha. cruise to bangkok! and then thur public holiday! going work for converse =X then friday briefing in sch. sat and sun working for converse. muahaha! =X i think mon to fri i working for promedia.. sat and sun pia converse.. heh.. clever ar me. =X but converse there.. need ppl then say lar. haha. =) hehe.. and my introductory letter given to dr liu liao.. abit too fast.. but hope i can send out on friday.. hehe...

my proj.. finally going to finish le.. deadline is on monday.. bo bi it can move ar.. today tested out le.. abit problem with the sensor or wheel.... #%!(&~.. thanx jinhao.. -_-" your sensor board so pro.. unlike my motor board.. work within 30min.. lols.. thanx to your soldering.. thanx to your alinement.. thanx for everything.. ("_) am i being sacastic again? haha.. thanx to marcus too.. for his big big contribution.. he did a few L brackets for weeks.. haha.. and i'm not going to include his name inside my proj.. am i very bad? no leh.. he contribute so much that he doesnt deserve to be in my report.. chawshing.. another big thanx to him.. where are u when me and jinhao trying to connect the AGV together.. thanx.. where is my isometric drawing? thanx thanx.. thanx to all these ppl.. who added suffer to my life.. -_-" BUT tml.. i shall let u all die.. do proj report with me! muahahhaa..!!! *evil celia is once here..

forget it.. talk abt my daily life now.. daily routine.. haha.. shit.. i sounded lame like kenny le. -_-"

mon..
went for the usual IA lab.. haha.. next wk test le.. today mock test.. not bad ar.. but still hope i can get 100 marks for lab.. very weird lar.. lab cannot get 100.. so throw face.. previous 94 and 88.. -_-" no face sia.. then DF EEE.. but went for DF MM.. to do the proj.. thanx to chawshing.. forklift have to redo over and over again.. sob sob.. my life so miserable.. haha.. then what did i do next.. forgotten..

tue..
maths late.. but hand up half my 6% assignment.. i think i got the full 6% le ba. haha.. not sure.. never go kpo.. sometimes i wonder leh.. my maths will get dist or not.. let fate decide ba.. got 5 As this sem i happy le.. i only scare.. mech get other grades.. sadded.. mechanics.. haha.. tut do revision.. mock test ar.. dont know how to do .. -_-" do all.. but all halfway.. not even 1 full qn is done.. haii.. may god bless me.. haha.. then maths lect.. went to do DF MM.. sian.. shit leh.. i cant even rem what i did.. at nite.. -_-"

wed..
haha.. morning rush proj.. then after went mms.. i was the first to reach.. sad ar.. mr wan mux be disappointed.. 3/4 of the class came late.. then when he teaching.. i sleeping.. tired.. then 2pm zhun he went out of the class.. lock us inside le.. haiX.. mms.. wonder if this module.. useful to mechatronics or not.. haha.. but mms is programming de.. haiix.. dont know leh.. hehes.. then go DF lab to assemble my AGV.. jinhao and me only.. haiis.. chawshing dont know die where le.. ("_) hmms.. 3oclock.. then go back club.. i think i was rotting ar.. forgotten also.. ytd only leh.. omg.. i dont know what i did in 3 hours plus then 6 like that went shaw towers with dar.. thanx to him.. i skipped my lunch again.. haha.. THANX har.. but later he treat me bk for dinner lar.. not a bad deal afterall.. =X study mech awhile after dinner at bk.. then 8 plus went to queue for movie.. thanx har.. so HOT.. no aircon.. shaw.. -_-" watched a boring show..
SKY CAPTAIN & THE WORLD OF TOMORROW..
b o r i n g. i slept almost the whole show. haha. b4 start already ZzZ.. tired tired.. still tired.. haha. then wake up awhile watch.. then doze off again.. the story ar.. abt robot de.. haii.. i mechatronics leh.. still dont like robot.. lols.. then the pictures.. the show.. abit retro one.. old old de.. yellow films.. haha.. 9.30 is the show.. end at abt 11 like that.. *not recommended.. unless u're a guy.. dar enjoyed alot.. -_-" boring guy.. haha

thurs..
yesh today.. morning.. skipped mms and ia again.. aw.. sad ar.. wanted to go de.. cox today abt exam paper.. but laziness overcome me.. never bother to go.. haiix.. reached sch at 11am.. haha.. went to find dar first.. suppose to meet gab, danny and paul for lunch.. but roy called me over to have kfc instead.. haha.. his class lunch.. then 3 person never eat.. so i call liting and dar down to eat.. kekes.. liting said dar is a boring guy.. haha. ya indeed.. sad ar.. =( i want jimmy! i want jay! i want i want.. haha.. =X then go back club.. give gabbie the hamster.. haha.. rot.. played carrom.. won sk.. lost to jinnah.. -_-" sk tot i wont go in.. kekes.. but it went! meow! but long time no play ar.. haii.. STUDY! =X mms.. haha.. revision lab test.. ehx.. abit hard to answer.. but i know how to do the exp.. argh.. why like that.. haha.. i wanna score 95-100 also.. last test is 95/100.. hmms.. good luck ah lia.. =) DF EEE.. went to test the vehicle. can work but.. abit weird.. the wheel fault.. too high.. then not touching ground.. haha.. monday then troubleshoot loh.. ma fan.. =( then go club.. then go japanese class.. haliluya.. next wk got japanese test.. hope will be easy.. last test only 60+ ar i think.. my distinction dream is gone.. -_-" hai qui me last sem get merit.. i think this year merit also hard to get.. argh.. BUCK UP ar celia.. then went home.. Zz.. ate hokkien mee.. =D long time no eat le.. hehes.. =)

bad news ar.. my hammie.. fight fight.. -_-" one injured.. no no.. i shld say 2 injured.. haii.. half of the body.. including face.. all blood.. so erxin.. my mum cleaning them.. hehe.. then 1 is injured at the front legs.. haii.. why cant u all live in peace.. anyway. who wants hamster can get from me.. i got tons of them..

now is 1.27am le.. aiyohs.. time to sleep le. . this wk keep on sleeping at 2am.. tired leh.. hehes.. niteys everyone.. will update asap again.. =)

meanwhile.. study hard everyone.. including Celia and Banny.. =) muahaha!

allo.. i'm back.. these few days no time to blog.. hees..

wed..
finally hold my add meeting le.. muahhaa.. not bad lar.. afterall not scary.. but rue never come.. he's my secretary.. -_-" then before that got mm day debriefing.. suddenly.. coldness come.. haha.. very little ppl.. very weird u know.. last year alot alot alot of ppl.. this year sudden so little ppl.. haha.. not much memory of last wed leh.. haha..

thurs..
hehe.. japanese class until 730.. then come back club.. still got gen, wx, dh.. not bad eh.. but year 1s still not around.. hehes..

fri..
lemme think.. 3 meetings wor.. needy fund.. club meeting.. sport fest.. sian.. write meeting minutes until siao.. needy fund.. terence never come.. haii.. he's the secretary.. then after tat go home. haha.. then after that they went dinner.. i never.. stomach flu is still ard.. sian..

sat..
eh.. meet yhao, peishan, dar and fengyuan at about 3 plus.. i earliest again. -_-" bored. then went to the foodcourt in the raffles city to eat.. dessert only.. haha.. i bought my yam again.. hehes.. nice nice.. but after eating.. i mean eat whole bowl.. abit giddy.. too sweet ba.. hees.. then go walk walk and go pandan le.. got.. lp, des, me, dar, yhao and his senior, fengyuan, peishan, jeff, junting and my dear sistar.. haha.. saw yingting also.. then msg jastina where is she.. muahhaha.. go chase idol without me again.. muahha.. ("_) saw airen also.. arron kor.. kekes.. then saw the ger he likes.. ah bell..
Euphoria'04
it's tiger beer's birthday! hees.. quite boring in the front wor.. 5oclock suppose to start.. in the end about 5 plus or 6 then start.. then very boring.. trance in the front.. 2 bloody hours down there.. -_-"" then i was sleeping.. haha.. wake up stand up sit down sleep.. hahhaa.. opps.. then first one is shinhwa.. muahhaa.. high ar.. i wanna call jolene de.. but.. haii.. dont have her hp no.. got lar.. in my mind. dont know she got change or not.. hees.. next time she online then i ask loh.. =X then 4 in 1 come out.. eh.. 4 gays.. -_-" afterall their songs not bad loh.. then.. forgotten lar.. but got machi.. palmy.. lena park.. michael learns to rock.. blah blah.. machi.. hhigh ar.. saw the LA boys.. haha.. the dont know who become very muscular le.. *drools.. then hear them rap hokkien.. kekes.. pamly.. not bad ar.. voice sound like faye wong.. then lena park i was sleeping.. haha.. then michael learns to rock.. last band.. WOW.. my idol.. hehes.. not bad eh.. they last cox they brought the whole crew from denmark.. muahaha.. then need to set up and blah blah blah.. hehes.. they sang alot of songs.. too bad i buey tahan le.. tired.. hungry.. giddy le.. hehes.. went home after my 25mins.. YAWNS!! reached home at 130 like that.. if can i could really luv to stay.. but due to my weakness.. haha.. bed.. i'm here.. =P

sun..
ytd ar.. haha.. went ktv with dar.. youyang.. and calvin.. hehes.. sang alot ar.. 5 hours.. hehes.. then go home lo.. sian.. went online do my fucking report.. slept at 2 plus 3 ba.. hehes..

mon..
never attend mech.. haha.. too lazy to pull myself up.. then reach sch abt 1030... that banny.. still slowly stroll with that iris.. from cscc.. -_-"" ku ku.. then i went class.. realized that jinhao and chawshing not around also.. argh.. i wonder later how. . are we going to do our proj? fuck..

celia stomach flu again. sad. eat liao shit. immediate effect. _l_ waste money buy food. but never mind. today spent less than $5. class lunch free ma. mr cheung treat. haha. $6.50 per head. not bad lar. hao hao xian shen.

report. haha. i know what is fen gong he zhou le. heng i do those i know. then throw the introduction and conclusion to jinhao to complete. mm report hor. hai. i think i also do those i know de better. then throw to jinhao, marcus and chawshing to do. yesh. clever leader. ain't i?

recently thinking abt my fyp. muaha. fast hor. no lar. thinking abt the members only. me, banny, youyang? muaha. dont know leh. end of sem II then decide. dont be too fast celia. too efficient le. =P

ADD meeting. tml leh. abit excited but abit disappointed also. feel like one-man show. looked easy to me. muahaha. all i can do except publication. me not good in art. but always get A. clever hor? haha. how how. later tml i say wrong thing. jia lat. haha.

then like nothing to blog le. lemme think..

recently also return home early. i think only this week ba. haha. monday before 7. today before 8. muahaha. tml i dont know le wor. got meeting. 10 then reach home ba. ("_) sian. 5 meetings this week. meeting marathon sia. later the year 1s kena scare out of club..

all these meetings. dont know will i get emotion and cry or not. but celia is strong. i guess she wont ba. muahaha.

later blog finish le need to save ADD things and DF report things into my small diskette. which is only 1.38MB. Celia ar. everyone using thumb drive le. u still using A:/ haha. celia is poor. what to do?

3 more weeks. to.. EXAMs lar. knn. my schedule is out. wait i go check now. then paste here. =D
---
Engineering Maths II (MS6251) 26 Oct 2004 2:00pm - 4:10pm
Microcontroller for Mechatronics System (EC1407) 28 Oct 2004 2:00pm - 4:10pm
Mechanics II (MM2105) 2 Nov 2004 2:00pm - 4:10pm
Industrial Automation (MM2602) 3 Nov 2004 2:00pm - 4:10pm
---
the time very nice hor. heng no morning. later i overslept. +_+" the schedule seems fine to me lar. not bad loh. haha.

my cca pt.
---
Total Approved CCA Points: 103
CCA Grade: A+
---
hehe. not bad ar. i still waiting for my 10 pts from miss lim ar. my japan trip pt. hmmms..

i think i go off le ba. nothing to do le. =P jaa mata!

i online for about 1 hour le ba.. haha.. near to. listening to sammi's cd. mei li de wu hui. 2003 album. my doorgift from converse loh. haha.

jux now monkey send me home. banny got meeting with james. i'm tired. i got stomachache recently. i dont want to return home so late. club no ppl. feel so ghostly. sad.

i'm stress. alot of things. ADD. projects. reports. club ppl. haix.

projs and reports. together one. -_-" jinhao chawshing. the worse, marcus. all of them wont do de. i've to do it myself. myself. everything also myself again. jux now go workshop do. i think only me in a hurry to finish loh. chawshing finally do the tapping. jinhao trying to be funny, dis-assemble and assemble back the parts. _l_ fuck. then i might as well ask u dont come workshop. useless guys. always gimme excuses. _l_ jux now i was helping janice to do her proj, being her model. then this 2 guys waiting for me. ask them go first, then say what i go then they go. FUCK. cant u all go and do first? dont have me will die meh? i really feel like giving them a tight SLAP. IF i were lastime de me.. i will flare up and fuck them upside down. but my temper changed liao. FUCK. then reach there. abt 4 le. do half an hour also song. FUCK. then i was rushing. drilling. milling. fuck. all the ling coming out. _l_ i'm stressed. ask cs do the autocad le ma. then he say havent. what mux wait for me. cox i told him need to change some things. DID i? fuck. i dont remember loh. he said by LAST wed will do finish. next he say FRIDAY after sch go do. NOW? HAVENT COMPLETE. _l_ i really have enough le.. i skipped alot of class. for the sake of AGV. last friday till today. i skipped :: IA lab. Maths lect. DF-EEE. argh..

stanleY called me today. to get answer for AGV1.c haha. think u handsome i will give u? dont act smart. think is shuhui ask him call me de loh. u think i so stupid? i tot your grp poh han very smart one.. haha.

ADD ar.. haha. meeting this wed loh. think also bwang. haha. bernard CAN MAKE IT if he ends his industrial visit. donghong doing project. others still unknown. fall ba ADD.. nobody is there to organise..

i going to do my proj report le lar.. haha. i wonder how long can i still survive. haha..

---

ytd ar.. work at taka loh. went to break with angie. then go see fashion show. lancome makeup. hairdo by kose. fashion.lab and future state. knn. fashion.lab de clothes, like ah ma like that. future state one nicer. *drools.. ADD dress. haha. the model. damn tall. damn skinny. leg damn long. then never wear bra somemore. then their breast went doink doink doink.. can imagine? haha. went back. aiyohs. teach meiling how to tie shoelace. -_-" then went home with dar..

he made fireworks for me. haha. kinda stupid though.. too bad i wanna pee. urgently. then watch finish sparkle go home. pom pom.

talk to monkey until 1 like that. then i go oink le. haha. tired.. ZzZ

hees. i'm back. =) let's start from wednesday ba. haha.

wed..
morning pia proj. afternoon attended mms. but slept all the way. haha. nothing to do ma. sir got a few qns. i think 9 ba. then jux nice i'm the 10th person, no need to do anything. jux sleep. =P after that went club. blog using jiabao's lappie. then helped paul to call the team captain.. to cancel captain's ball.. but after that got again. -_-" no more rain. i called john leh. cox baowei never ans phone. lols. a guy i liked.. from triple e club. muahaha. so handsome. the voice also. =x drool.. later u all see him also like him wor.. dont snatch away. =P
captain's ball
starting very messy. need to clear the court. rain ma. wet the court. -_-" 2 courts some more. called danny to bring newspaper from club but he already on the way here. wondering who so smart go call him. haha. same thinking as me. ("_) great minds think alike. muahaha. then suck up the water. fuck sia. the newspaper, made my hands black. -_-" never bother to wash. haha. then receptionist. take finish attendance le. realized fucking fiona and yunsi cannot make it. in club, when thomas said bye to us, saying he's going to study maths. i was thinking, fuck sia, club got event, u are going to leave us to do the event ourselves. where's the unitity? fuck. back to story. paul never ask me and gen to be scorer and timer. _l_ we 2 flare up and wanna kill him. argh. then we go to do our job. as a timer, ok lar. i stop and start as and when i like lar. haha. i mean mux got limit loh. haha. =X dont know lar. very very messy. as i can say.. it can be better is planning done earlier.. ended at 8 plus.
stay in club till 9 plus. haha. went to clementi to eat. =D got me, banny, chengjin and rue. haha. then eat happily. haha. went home taking the woodlands line. then wanna dar pei me till woodlands nia, then he go back his cck, i go back my amk. then sleep till sembawang. tired wor. reached home at 1130pm.. another late day.. haha.

thurs..
i tried to wake up.. but went back to sleep again.. same me.. ='( then went to class at 1 plus. haha. went club first ma. liting need dustcoat. then passed to banny. hah. went class. sir ask me why i late, then i say overslept. muahaha. chawshing also pon whole morning. then we 2 say no class in the morning ma. muahaha. jin hao stared at us. kiddingly of cox. haha. i think morning lesson only jinhao and his best frd, marcus go only. lols. df lesson.. we go do the programming. muahhaa. completed the sensor.c and agv1.c le. shuhui tried to copy from us. _l_ luckily jinhao wrote on a foolscap. fuck sia. i dont like her liao. so many comments. why cant she jux shut her gap and leave the comments to herself. ya i hate her le. but she keep on following us. her bf leave her is a good choice. i meant, EX BF. hmpf. after that went eat dinner.. got jeff, kiatghee.. dar me and rue.. haha.. went jap class.. not bad lar. but tired, slept for 20min. =X really tired.. this week.. then jap quiz, as usual. copy lar. but most of it i remember. muahaha. not bad eh. then went grand hyatt eat dinner. WOW. dont envy lar. it's a wedding dinner. banny's mother's de... haha. dont know.
Grand Hyatt
not bad lar. but the service. _l_ no good. the waitress machiam partime lai de. ping ping piang piang. noisy. boo hoo. then nobody serve drinks unless u ask for it. or is it like that de. haha. ended at 11pm..
reached home already like 1130.. heng orchard lar. haha. banny send me home as usual.. =) oh ya. i wore pink top. jeans skirt. new adidas shoes! alot of ppl say very nice. haha. gen ah, chengjin ah. jinhao also. =D next time i post the pic. =X lemme hao lian awhile lar.. haha

fri..
attended morning lesson nia. _l_ kena locked out. i only late 10min. then i waited at the shelter for dar and stitch. i wore converse spag, my sis's frd de skirt and red converse shoes. looked weird leh. and i weird for whole day. -_-" teoh u better watch out. debriefing u shall know. for the rest of the day, i was in workshop. i was not allow to go in de leh, cox i wearing skirt. then i smuggle in. failed. one technician saw me. then he say he gimme warning. heng lar. pia proj lar. _l_ feel like i'm the same old me. inside workshop. pia-ing d&t proj. haha. but now is d&f proj. same lar. no diff. and also i slept in workshop for 20 min ba. TIRED lar. argh. then can go off at 4 de but waiting for dar. argh. my proj only left forklife and pcb board de hole.. STRESS.. went club, pack and went home.. bathe lar. dirty leh. workshop whole day. -_-"
Carlton Hotel
met zhaoren first. haha. i was late by 30min. went home change ma. argh. then reach le. *bLurx. shy. all dont know de. haha. i know them lar, they dont know me. mostly office ppl, boutique ppl and us! the outlets ppl and partimer. sharon welcome us at the receptionist table. wow, mei mei wor. she wear dress. not covering shoulder that time. then got scarf covering lar. haha. very pretty wor. then she go dye and cut hair. woo. chiobu but jux a little bit short. haha. then me never wear so nice. ugliest there. winnie also very chio. wau lao. i go there drool only. haha. angie wear very shui bian. not nice. haha. then i like lijun's dress also. everybody very pretty there. =D winnie going oversea soon. =( england waitress. so far. wondering will she forget me. *sigh.. saw esther too. never talk to her. haha. she make me cry in converse. hmpf. then we 2 like strangers. lols. take photos. alot ar. but my digital camera, ok danny's.. only 4 or 5 pic. =X sorry boss, borrow your camera then only 4 or 5 pic. ok lar. i go take my face. =D hahah. zi lian kwang. ok back. went in dinner. ho ho ho. alot never eat lar, not nice. -_-" heng i never take carlton. haha. it's the same room we went last time. (banny me and gabrielle) then got 70 lucky draw prizes. 120 attend. about 5 out, partimers never take part. left 115. then like only 45 ppl wont kena. but taka outlet all tio. haha. their prizes very drooling also. wau lao. i tio dvd player also. but i'm not allow in the lucky draw, cox partimers. but this one another draw. they divide us into team A and B. then team A won. then draw out lucky winner --> ME! haha. damn lucky hor. before that i was telling zhaoren.. "tmdx, enough of lucky draw hor.. better let us, the partimer win.." then next annoucement.. "CeliA cHee..." lols.. shiok sia.. then got one hollywood star came and perform.. very funny guy.. then do all the funny actions.. he sang hokkien and chinese as well.. wau lao, ang moh kia leh.. haha.. but not handsome.. too bad. =X once end.. i go meet monkey lo.. heng got him.. or else i wonder how i go home.. cox alot of things to carry.. doorgift --> sammi cheng's cd.. tuberware.. a box of goodies.. and dvd player. haha. very happy ar tonite..
Monkey
msged him wanna go home tog boh.. then he say okie loh.. his frd(kor kor)going to drive him also.. then shun bian lompang me.. haha.. went to the entrance to wait for him.. i brought 2 balloons with me.. one wanna give him de.. in the end give to a cute boi boi(damien).. a super cute boi.. 4 nia.. then fat fat one. belongs to a coffeeshop aunty.. haha.. then kor kor driving. damien sits on monkey's lap. i beside monkey. very fun. then i hold damien hand.. wahh.. very big wor. 3/5 of my hand is his hand.. -_-" then went yellow river.. on the way ryan called me but can't hear lar.. wanna go ans then he off le.. call back he cup my phone.. lols. he wanna z-siao me again.. too bad me with monkey.. muahaha.. went to the playgrd.. then got someone attack us.. of cox lar.. ah bengs and one innocent cat and monkey at the playgrd.. -_-" then ryan.. stupid lar.. go shout to the blk.. "ham ji ah.. wu ji come down fight lar.." knn.. later police come then he know.. -_-"" then me and monkey siam.. then went home le.. sister call me liao.. haha.. monkey pei wo walk home.. lomantic walk.. lols. reached at 1am like that.. monkey pei wo walk up the stairs.. haha..
yawns.. talk to dar on phone till fall asleep.. haha..

today..
yeah today.. woke up at 11 like that.. online till 1130 go work lo.. yawns.. 9 hours of standing.. -_-" no ppl somemore.. oh ya.. today me at og pp.. haha.. boh lang one.. aiyohs.. then dinner with ah grace.. heng saw her ar.. or else i alone eating again.. then zhi bi zheng again.. haha.. then go hai yang buy shampoo.. $4.90 leh.. not bad lar.. grace say there cheap.. nextime who want go i bring u all there.. at the chinatown market.. haha.. 4th floor.. the promoter there damn realistic.. i took the 8.90 shampoo.. then i tot is 4.90.. then go pay.. (today only bring 10bucks.. eaten 3.50 le..) then no money ma.. change into small bottle one.. the promoter keep asking me to take 8.90 de.. then i say no money.. then she quickly say.. then u take the 4.90 one loh.. -_-" _l_!! and ya.. sharon make a trip down to see me.. haha.. my supervisor.. cox i only bring 10bucks.. then need to deposit 10 bucks for tag and punch card.. -_-" i still owe her 10.. muahaha.. then before 930 i already zhao.. haha.. ah grace waiting for me at the security counter.. to pass me my shampoo.. i put in her locker.. kekex.. then went to taxi stand.. call dar.. but he's still at home.. he tot 1030 then never mind loh.. i go home alone.. haha.. monkey also at tg playing bball.. sian.. boh lang pei me home tonite.. reach at 10 plus.. earliest of the week ba.. haha..